T-Shirt-Gate: Needy Or Necessary?
We have all been there: narrowing your eyes at the pretty girl staring at you boyfriend. You trust him, but do you trust her? Trust is important in any relationship but finding the right balance between healthy behaviour and being too clingy is always a challenge.
Recently, social media feeds have been hit with the story of a girl who made her boyfriend a very special t-shirt to go on a boys’ holiday with. Concerned about her boyfriend being led astray, the girl made him a t-shirt adorned with their faces, embellished with the words: “I love my girlfriend Abbie and I hate all the girls in Ibiza so please stay away from me.” Is this t shirt a step too far? Is this girl right to be wary, or is she just being too clingy and emphasising apparent insecurities within their relationship? And, also, is he ACTUALLY going to wear it?!
The notion of a lads’ holiday receives a lot of negative attention, offering up arguments regarding infidelity and trust. Often programs depicting the hedonistic and promiscuous atmosphere of these holidays instil fear into girls who are unsure how to react when their boyfriend is away. Will he cheat? When in another country and surrounded by cheap alcohol, semi-naked girls and male bravado, it is easy to be wary of your man going away. But how do you balance this concern with your trust of your other half? As one girl has shown this week, it would appear that some individuals just tackle their worries head on – in this car by making a bold t-shirt to emphasise their worries. But, wouldn’t this have a negative effect on their relationship? If I was a boy presented with that apparel, I would think my girlfriend didn’t trust me, thus opening up whole new areas of problems.
Some girls are often dubbed as ‘clingy’, being depicted as unable to tolerate their other halves going out alone with friends or with other girls. Admittedly I cringed a little when I saw this news story, as although it is funny, I would be a little embarrassed to be seen as that type of girlfriend. You know, the needy, clingy, possessive type. Don’t’ get me wrong, if my boyfriend went on a holiday like that I wouldn’t like it, but I would not go to these extreme measures; after all, a t-shirt will not stop him from cheating. It is more likely that your trust, acceptance and tolerance will prevent him from doing so. I think that this incident shows more about the girl’s insecurities than it does about her boyfriend’s potential behaviour.
After seeing this news piece go viral, I asked my partner for his opinion. He replied as I had expected, using that buzzword ‘clingy’ in saying: “I think it’s too clingy. If he wears it, his friends will laugh! If he doesn’t wear it though, that will cause tension between them.” The expectation of a lads’ holiday often causes disruption within a relationship, but if you trust your partner a change of scenery should not make a difference. Not being able to trust your guy when he goes on holiday presents a relationship lacking in trust, rather than just neediness. After all, if you feel the need to try and curb or prevent infidelity, do you truly trust your boyfriend?
The reactions to this t-shirt tale will be mixed. Most girls will understand the fear of a group holiday and the lack of trust that girls have for other girls and well-known holiday antics. The idea is humorous and shows how much this girl loves and cherishes her boyfriend, but I think that the reasons for creating it will only go on to cause greater relationship insecurities. The fact of the matter is that her boyfriend shouldn’t need that garment to know not to cheat. I would argue that many people will look at the piece of cloth and assume he is a bad boyfriend who needs warnings and ultimatums. In reality he’s probably not a bad person at all. I asked my boyfriend again what he would do if I presented a similar shirt to him, and he replied with: “I would ‘accidentally’ leave it at home.” I’m sure that most guys will be of the same opinion, and I don’t blame them…