Sexplained: I Couldn’t Help But Wonder…
When you have some free time on your hands, it’s inevitable that you’ll get sucked into a television series and perhaps an Sex And The City (SATC) marathon is necessary.
Now, if Carrie Bradshaw’s relationships are anything to go by, women regularly complain of their chosen sexual partners. Which got me to thinking, is the sex actually bad or are women just being lazy?
Many females frequently admit to having terrible sexual encounters, and it’s usually along the lines of “he just couldn’t fuck me right” or “the sex was so boring”. Although I hold my tongue, I do wonder whether it was a joint effort of sucking at sex or whether the female counterpart just sort of laid there like a limp fish, with a long list of complaints to follow. We’ve all been there, in the days where we didn’t really know how to do ‘the sex’ and later gossiped about the boring affair to our friends and neighbours. I mean everyone had to start somewhere right?
What confuses me, however, is what exactly these individuals are doing to transform boring intercourse into ‘oh my god I may faint from ecstasy’ sex. Admittedly, it isn’t always the male’s fault and we ladies also have a role to play.
Episode 2, Season 6, aptly named ‘Great Sexpectations’, presents Carrie (I-make-enough-money-for-rent-shoes-and-expensive-lunches-on-a-writers-wage) Bradshaw in a brand new relationship. She appears to be excited about a new lad named Jack Berger and as a viewer you’re already bored, because you just know she’s going to fuck it up somehow. Low and behold Berger and Bradshaw engage in coitus after what seems like weeks of tedious and banterful foreplay. The pair emerge from the session disappointed in the overall performance, however only Carrie tells her friends how awful the sex was. If like myself you were watching the episode and thinking ‘Hey Carrie, maybe wiggle a hip or something!!’ you are not alone. In true ‘I’m a woman so I’m always right’ fashion, she literally lays on her back and expects all of the pop and sparkle to wash over her. I mean if this isn’t most women complaining about boring sex, I don’t know what is.
Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have an opinion on the level of intercourse, just that perhaps you should assess the situation as a whole. Are you one hundred percent sure it was just him lacking lustre?
Circling back to the point, I find it almost implausible for women to complain of bad sex if they’re doing nothing to change the situation. As a female, I feel it’s as much your duty as is it his, to switch things up in the bedroom. If at any point you feel like the sex is nearing dull, do something about it! Move, bounce, roll on his peen god dammit. I mean the alternative is being dragged around like a rag doll for 25 minutes while he gets his fix and you scroll through Twitter, presumably to shade tweet him.