How To Pick Up Girls, Written By A Girl
Fellas, there is in fact, a right and a wrong way to pick up girls. No more cat-calling. Here’s how you can really get our attention.
Dating in the 21st century is all very easy. You can request the love of your life as a friend on Facebook and that’s phase 1 over and done with. But due to the online realms of dating taking over, it seems as though people are losing touch of how to communicate effectively in real life. In turn, catcalling is commonly used as a way to woo women in public.
Urban Dictionary has defined catcalling as:
“An insulting and usually sexist remark made in public towards a woman by a man. Not to be confused with compliments.”
Sounds about right. Unfortunately I, as well as many other women, have fallen victim to this on more than one occasion.
We get the “ALRIGHT DARLIN’, NICE ARSE!” line shouted out to us from a moving vehicle, or most commonly the classic move of: I’m going to walk right next to you, try and chat you up and ask for your number even though you’re ignoring me and have been for the past 10 minutes.
Guys who do this: please stop. I’m sure I speak on behalf of other women when I say that stuff like this is incredibly demeaning and sometimes quite intimidating. It will not attract us to you, it will scare us away. You just do not approach a woman like that if you fancy her!
I posted a status on Facebook to find out just what my female friends thought about catcalling. Among them, I was surprised by how mixed the responses were. On one hand, there were positive, mixed and negative comments towards catcalling.
“I have mixed views, but I genuinely think it’s a positive. In fact it makes me smile mostly!” – Sam, 25
“Sometimes I get embarrassed and feel threatened. I know it’s not meant badly but it makes me feel uncomfortable yet happy to be noticed” – Daniella, 22
“It’s awful. Not complimentary in the slightest. The worst is when they say something or whistle and because you’ve ignored them they say ‘cheer up love'” – Beatrice, 23
I think that each individual’s opinion of catcalling can vary, but the majority of my Facebook friends agreed that catcalling is unnecessary and demeaning.
SO, how can you get a girls attention without shouting crude comments at her? It’s simple. Take the nice approach. The flattering kind. If you see a girl walking down the street and you think that she’s attractive, don’t just shout it at her. Politely tell her that you think she’s pretty. If she seems startled by this, or just carries on walking, leave her be. Don’t follow her, or make nasty comments just because she hasn’t said anything back to you. However, if she starts talking to you, use this as your chance to grab her full attention and be kind. Ask her how her day has been or what she’s doing this weekend. Don’t just jump in and ask for her number straight away because she’ll be unlikely to give it out. You need to build a slight rapport with a stranger before you start doing things like this!
Dating sites also play a huge role in catcalling. It is so simple to just download an app, swipe left or right in accordance to what strangers you’re attracted to, and take it from there. Whereas in real life, it isn’t that simple. You have to establish a connection, or some form of real interest before a girl will take you seriously. However, each girl is different. Some may be easier to get than others. If you’re attracted to a girl, by all means show her, but know that there’s a right and wrong way to go about it. The next time you notice a love interest, just remember: be polite, kind, and not creepy.