Friends On Social Media We Love To Hate
There are some really irritating people splashing their annoying ways across our Facebook timelines and Twitter feeds – so why can’t we unfollow them? As much as these friends (using the term loosely) grind our gears, they give us something to talk about. Where we would we be without them? Over the years I have noticed trends in how these perpetrators use social media to annoy the hell out of us average, controlled onlookers. Our hate-inspiring friends can be split into five distinct categories. Collect them all!
The Baby Bore
This type of annoying social media friend came to my mind first, purely because of the sheer severity of the actions that the Baby Bore demonstrates. Having a child is a great thing, for sure. Some people just take the expression of their happiness way too far. For starters, there’s the incessant talk of how wonderful their sprog is, along with endless shares of cutesy pictures and text explaining how their child is a gift and that the sun shines out of their infant arse. Such pictures are usually alternated with those that shout out how AMAZING of a mother they are, and list all of the difficulties that come with motherhood. Because none of us knew before what pregnancy or raising a child involved! This, however, is mild compared to the worst that I’ve seen come from a Baby Bore. I really don’t want to know about your child’s bowel habits. And I particularly do not want to see a delightful picture of your baby’s porridge-looking puke. I still can’t get that image out of my mind.
How to spot a Baby Bore:
- Seems to have lost all friends who are not parents of small children
- Prefers to talk about playdates than going out themselves
- Feels the need to share every (and I mean, EVERY) detail about their offspring
The Lovers are exactly that: they are totally in love with each other – and everyone else MUST know about it! They are swept up in a world of heart-eyes and roses in which all that is important is their other half. The Lovers’ activities include gushing about how their partner is unbelievably awe-inspiring; declaring that their life has been changed by their romance; and professing their undying commitment. All of this has to be done over social media, in front of everyone else, rather than keeping it in a private exchange between The Lovers themselves. With a love like theirs, it just can’t be contained!
How to spot The Lovers:
- Frequent publicly posted exchanges with excessive amounts of kisses
- Lengthy statuses praising their significant other
- Only post pictures of the two of them together
The Controversy Magnet
Ah, the Controversy Magnet. Possibly the most entertaining type of our beloved annoying social media friends, as well as the most blood-boiling. Someone who is a Controversy Magnet is not a fan of living a quiet life. Social media is their platform for expressing their, at the minimum, controversial, and at the maximum, downright wrong opinions in the hope of starting a fight. Once an online argument has been established, these keyboard warriors just won’t back down even with sufficient evidence against their view, thus infuriating pretty much everyone. Another hobby of the Controversy Magnet is posting vague statuses and sub-tweeting about someone who has rubbed them up the wrong way. It doesn’t get much more irritating than a ‘inbox me babe xxx’ comment.
How to spot a Controversy Magnet:
- Seems to be angered by most things and everyday happenings
- Never admits that they are wrong
- Tries to appear sneaky by not actually addressing the person they have a problem with
The Oblivious Sharer
As someone who likes to be in the know, I can’t get my head around why people can’t CHECK SOURCES. The Oblivious Sharer does not have such a thirst for knowledge, and chooses to believe that whatever they read on the Internet is true. Unfortunately, these gullible types can be responsible for spreading false, harmful information. There are Facebook pages specifically set up to sway people’s views, and this is done through the spread of lies. This is something that I have noticed whenever a pro-life post has popped up on my timeline – they are always graphic, shocking, and guess what? Completely inaccurate. Now, everybody is entitled to their own view – but when false information is passed around, it always has negative effects. And don’t get me started on Britain First.
How to spot an Oblivious Sharer:
- Means well but falls short of sharing useful facts
- Will believe anything that is asserted as being true
The ‘Good’ Friend
The ‘Good’ Friend fancies themselves as a saint, when really, they should be counting up their friendship sins. This type of person remains delusional to their own failures as a good friend, while accusing others of the very things that they do themselves.
How to spot a ‘Good’ Friend:
- Complains about no one making an effort with them when you know that they never reply to your texts
- Reminds everyone how blessed they should feel to have them in their lives
- Whines about how they deserve to be treated better
Are your friends making any social sins? Let us know in the comments below.