Flirting While Attached: Yay or Nay?
As someone who’s been in, shall we say, one real relationship and a million insignificant ones, I’m a tad foggy on the dos and don’ts when attached. Following a Twitter survey conducted last week, I’ve been informed by a number of users that flirting is completely unacceptable in a relationship, even when harmless. In F.R.I.E.N.D.S however, Monica didn’t let Chandler’s flirting with the cute pizza delivery girl, Caitlyn, bother her at all. Her exact words being, “It doesn’t bother me, because I know it doesn’t mean anything.” Although I’m grossly aware that these characters are fictional, it makes for a valid point.
As an unattractive teen, I taught myself the art of flirting. It was as simple as complimenting the opposite sex and seducing them into a laugh-gasm, using endless funnies and crummy jokes to get them there. My aim in making the opposite sex feel special allowed me to appreciate, and further develop a personality, to overcompensate for my less than average appearance.
Making men feel special became my thing, and it became increasingly difficult to switch off or tone down that charm. Now a level-headed 22-year-old in a healthy relationship, I’ve been informed by a number of relationship-doers that it’s just not okay to flatter your way into a free beverage. To be frank, many were clearly quite insulted that I had even proposed the question. But the truth of the matter is, some people are flirtatious by nature and mean nothing by it. Well, nothing more than “Hey, so that free drink. Where are we on that?” Similar to those males and/or females whose role as a douchebag is just an essential part of their day, flirting is just that for a number of individuals.
It’s all relatively a question of how secure you and your partner are as a couple, and of course honesty goes hand in hand with this. Nevertheless I do agree that there are boundaries, and will admit that there are lines that should never be crossed. However, charming the barista out of a free coffee, and perhaps a croissant, is not a crime.
Here’s what some Twitter folk had to say on the matter:
@lawrenrae_ NOT acceptable under any circumstance. Someone in a relationship shouldn't express interest in others at all
— leksi (@aaleksrose) October 4, 2015
@lawrenrae_ – don't do it
— souloh (@soulohlove) October 4, 2015
@lawrenrae_ Stay away from it. Not worth it, no matter how innocent.
— Mupeta Victor Mukuka (@_Mupeta) October 4, 2015
@lawrenrae_ that's different, I see that more as feminine charm than anything else
— L E ' F L A K E (@KayMakesSense) October 4, 2015
@lawrenrae_ bad idea, no need for it, also rather disrespectful to whoever you're with don't you think?
— toe-bee (@TobiTobeToby) October 4, 2015
@lawrenrae_ I believe it's wrong, but in this day and age people deem many things as normal. "There's no harm in flirting"… LEWL
— ʙʟᴀᴄᴋᴘᴀɴᴛʜᴇʀs ɴᴇᴘʜᴇᴡ (@_TarRae) October 4, 2015
With that said, here’s to friendly flirting and to free coffee.
How do you feel about flirting while in a relationship? Drop a comment below with your thoughts.