“Conscious Uncoupling” – Compassionate Or A Cop Out?
Back in March, celebs Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced that they were going their separate ways after 10 years of marriage. Rather than calling it a divorce like ordinary people, the couple released a statement on Paltrow’s website stating that they were to “consciously uncouple.” So, what is “conscious uncoupling,” and is it really any different from a normal separation?
Psycotherapist Katherine Woodward Thomas describes it as “a proven process for lovingly completing a relationship that will leave you feeling whole, healed and at peace”.
An essay written by Dr. Habib Sadeghi & Dr. Sherry Sami, posted by Gwyneth on her blog, states “it’s conscious uncoupling that prevents families from being broken by divorce.”
But is it? Whilst it is always healthy to leave any relationship in the best way possible, I personally think “conscious uncoupling” is just a fancy way of saying you’re being a decent human being.
Whether you’re divorcing or “consciously uncoupling”, the fact is you’re still going through a separation. If you’re going through a divorce, surely remaining respectful of one another is something you’d try and do – especially if you have children.
Moreover, whilst “conscious uncoupling” promotes good morals, does it suggest that divorce is a bad thing?
I can’t help but think the term “conscious uncoupling” makes it harder for both people in the relationship to accept the fact they’re going through a divorce. Whilst “conscious uncoupling” may be a way of protecting the children, again I can’t help but see it as a way of damaging them in the long run.
At the end of the day, a 7-year-old child of divorce is much more likely to understand the word divorce than they are “conscious uncoupling”.
Now I may be coming off a bit strong, but speaking from personal experience, I think the term “conscious uncoupling” is just a cop out from accepting the fact and healthily communicating to your children that you’re going through a divorce.
“Conscious uncoupling”: What are your thoughts?